Stupid monkey!

     This is how popular I am since Thursday July 23

My email: pillendorf@yahoo.com

  Hey, I originally made this website in the sixth  grade with a friend, Morganne. This website is something that I enjoy putting time into so it would be awesome if you would like you know, hang out on it. But there is one thing i have to say. Your not young forever so just relax don't worry about everything with all the drama. Also some parents want to live through their children because they failed but you know what? You are not them, so do what you want to and do the things you love. I have some friends that have that problem and they are miserable, so don't. Just don't stress about things and kick back and enjoy what you do have because there is always less unfortunate. And no matter what, remember. You are awesome and I will always be there for you. Your only young once. So peace out! Smile!                                                    Love-Paulina Dillendorf

                                                  Dude, chillax.

      Did anyone ever tell you that life was supposed to be easy? I don't think so, life has it's twists and turns just to make a stronger person. Also don't give your self excuses giving you more reasons to be upset. Things are never as bad as they seem, whenever some one gives you word of advice don't just make it seem worse you have to accept some kind of help. And no matter as bad things might seem you will always have some one there for you and if you question who, I will be there only if you want me to be there.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               Stress is optional, you can accept all the bad things in the world and accept them into your life or take all the little things to heart or you can just chill. Don't think that just because of one thing everything is going to fall and collapse to your knees. And when everything seems bad and it feels like nothing is ever going to be the same think of the good things and people who care about you. there is always going to be a reason to push on in life. But never think everything is always going to be okay. Life is like a windy crooked road, there are twists that will throw you off and you have to sometimes collapse and feel like you cant do anything. But this is designed so you can build the strength to get up and rise above all the things that can form tears in your eyes. And don't think that crying a river is bad neither think its going to make everything okay.   Sometimes you just have to let all your frustration out and just mend on your tears. Though sitting there a complaining and crying is not going to make anything better. You've gotta step up to the plate and do want you think is best, If some one wants something they will go get it themselves, shy or not.                                                                                                                                                                                           Though things can never be like a Fairy Tale in the end, there is always going to be something there to represent the bad guy. But you have the option of being stressed or not. If something throws you off the boat sneak up behind it and throw it off, every time you  fall just get up to fall again because you know at some point you wont fall. You will stand and there is no doubt if you just push. Sometimes you are going to be the only person there for your self. It will be your job to wipe away your own tears, your job to motivate your self, your job to encourage your self. But when some one does come to be there for you don't keep on being there for your self, accept that person. Let that person help you. Love comes in all kinds, love for family, love for animals, love for activities, and love for your soul mate. My favorite movie, Moulin Rouge has a song which has this verse, Love is like oxygen , love is one of the many splendored thing, love lifts us up were we belong, all you need is love.  I mean think of it, do you think that you would make it this far in life without any support from family and friends?  I don't think so. 

        Don't  try to be perfect either.  Sometimes people try to be perfect and they lose their friends because they change too much.  Just be who you are, don't try to be something your not.  Just because one person is one thing does not mean you have to be like them at all.  Whatever you are is good enough for the people that are still around for you. Trust me if they haven't left yet then you've got it made.  But the thing is that sometimes and most of the time your parents cant just leave you. But they love you, they just want to see you become something they never got to be so they could experience the pride.  I see people that almost rip out their hair because their parents being so possessive. There no you, they have had their time to make something out of themselves so don't feel pressured to do anything because of them.  If they don't except who you are then just continue being who you want to be ant they eventually will have to give in. Just don't sweat it, breath and relax don't go all crazy of things. And never think of killing your self. Don't go all depressed because of things, don't lose your self in life. Just stay strong and strive and push. You have a option of accepting drama into your life or not, but my advice is don't worry or take any drama to heart. And when you have drama in your life, look on the bright side, tell a friend, breath. Go outside, walk around go do what you love and then continue.    

Losing people

Losing a person. A lost of a best friend that you've been very very close friends is impossible to get over sometimes but for me its not sometimes, its always. Losing a boyfriend or girlfriend that you've being going out with in a short time is barely nothing to worry about, just get over it. It is not worth worrying about. Though if you have been going out with someone for about 4-whatever months that can leave a curvy scar. You can tell your self that your over them but that's only true if you can walk by them without having the desire and passion to turn your head and lose yourself in their eyes.  Losing a person is losing your self because you gave that person a part of you that you will never be able to retain without them there. And when they say that they will never forget you or call you or something, don't get your hopes up because the way a relationship was once will never be the same again. Losing a person is losing a night of sleep, losing someone is tears of memory, losing a person is hiding all the pain and wiping a deceiving smile. A phone, a text, a email is not the same as seeing their smile stretching across their heart its not the same as seeing there eyes glitter in your presence of serenity, its not the same as seeing only them and no one else knowing that nothing exists at that moment. This all doesn't not only qualify for boyfriends and girlfriends. Though I will say this a sister is always a sister. A brother is always a brother. A lover is a kingdom full of confusion. Love is unknown, never to be true unless it was meant to be, if you broke up and it was meant to be then you just have to wait, if you broke up and that's it then there is someone out there dreaming of you on their porch then that's the way it is.  Losing someone is like a curvy scar, you have mixed feelings about the whole thing, though you swell the burden you testify with yourself. Its all life. Though the most important thing, you never never never lose a person, you give that person a piece of you, you commit to that person, you tell that person you have never said before but in your heart they will always be a memory full of joy, that soft arm around your waist will always stay around your waist whether you hate them or not but in my case I don't hate, I forgive. (that sentence was boyfriend relationship wise.)  Never go to the people who hurt you wait for them to go to you but if its too late then they have their reasons but that was my mistake I went to the person who dropped me and that was a horrible ignorant mistake. Though if it all happens too late don't doubt giving it a second chance, things change over time.  Sometimes people realize they have never realized before, that they are not complete without you. And if that's the case then that was meant to be, forever. . . . . But if you get dumped. . . then Just excel. Move on and don't wait if they want you then they will try to get you  and just start over. You will never have a history because your living it now, once your time is done then your history will be engraved into the world, into the universe, into the people who love you and if they used to like you or used to love you that's false some where in their heart they will find deep love for you they will realize what the let go what they missed in their life and it will scar them forever.  If I gave you something if anything and you left me then I'm sorry that you don't have me now.  I have someone who I feel understands me, they  own my love and all I am is love. This is Apple'z, Peace!              

Commitment

What is commitment? Is that something you would hear a lady say to her player boyfriend, yes it is. Commitment is important in relationships of all kinds. Commitment in a Romantic relationship is not running off with some blond or hooking up when your already in a relationship neither is it betraying your loved one or hurting them badly. Of course when you leave some one you are going to hurt them though you have to do it the right way, the right way leads to a scar to be healed in the future. Doing it the wrong way makes you feel bad for what you did, leaves a scar on the person you did it to, leaves regret to you, engraves pain in all directions. Friendship commitment is shown by being honest, loyal and supportive. Family commitment is basically friendship though in family you always have to take care of your family, you cant just leave them. That is cold. Though in the end commitment is loyalty, honesty, and always being there for that person and not leaving them and promising them that you are there's in the way your relationship is.  So if you were left by a friend, dumped by someone, and abandoned from your family then those people who did that are jerks no matter of what they did do and do. So if you think your a good person you better confirm that  by thinking, "Would I ever leave someone, am I committed? Loyal? Honest?" And if your answer is yes then go ahead and stay in my life but if its no then you better think if you really care for me and if you do then you would change.  A relationship of any kind is supported of commitment, do you love that person? And if your leaving someone then do it right and try to be friends after but never scar someone or you will be scared your self bigger than your imagination and  then the person will be over you and walk past you and you will stare in their glory and wish you still had them.  If I was labeled my label would be, "Apple'z   100% love, caution: do not scar, will regret" And I wish that was a lot of peoples labels without the applez part. So then question your self, what is love? Love is everything in all points of views. 

Keeping your cool when idiots are antagonizing you

 People can be real jerks, yes? People can be hurtful. Sometimes they can get too far, get out of line and start saying things that don't mean anything though they stab you slowly. But so what? In the end your better than them because your not doing what they are. So when someone is being a jerk to them just tell them what you want and feel and if they continue then ignore them. Just keep your self in a relaxed mood, imagine your self in a place were only heaven can speak of. A place were no drama was even to be thought there. You can contain your self, though for some people it takes a while to get used to. . . . Anger issues!!! just kidding. But don't go down to their level, because if you start calling them names back and messing with them your going to be as low as they are.

Let go

Sometimes stress just builds up around you, in you or with your friends and some how you get stuck in that depression.  And if all that drama your going through is your fault then that's what you get, you have to be willing to take what you dish out. It just makes sense. But if you feel like any moment your going to crash and just fall down to your knees or just rip out your hair there is only one thing to do, let go. Don't let go of your self but just think, "Is this worth stressing about?" And just work it out with yourself. When you are down people notice but they can not always be the ones making you happy, you have to tell your self, "I have one life and I need to be happy no matter what happens. I am here, right?" And sometimes when you ask your self these questions it helps more than other people. And your not crazy! What I do is, I turn on some music and just remember, "I am alive, right?" Life can be hard but that's what makes you strong.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             

 Just breath. Chill. Lay back. Live! 

 The nature surrounds you, the peace surrounds you. Take hold of the potential peace that you desire and make it true for you, everybody deserves to have peace, just not as many actually realize its right next to them. There's nothing else to say on this subject. Think.

If your reading all this stuff then I love you man!... well it depends how I know you... STILL LOVE YOU!